Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman met in the ’70s, sparking a relationship that eventually led to their marriage in the ’80s. Over the years, they built a life centered on their shared passions, including raising three children and collaborating on memorable projects.

Although they announced their separation in 2012 and have lived apart since 2017, the pair never finalized a divorce. Instead, they’ve chosen to prioritize their family and maintain a close bond. Their approach has defied conventional expectations, offering a new perspective on what a lasting partnership can look like.

The Roots of Their Love Story

DeVito and Perlman’s romance started with an unforgettable meeting in 1971 at an off-Broadway play called “The Shrinking Bride.” Perlman attended the performance to support a friend but found herself captivated by DeVito, who was part of the cast.

She couldn’t take her eyes off him and was eager to learn more. After asking her friend whether DeVito had a girlfriend (and learning he didn’t), Perlman joined the cast for dinner after the show. “I came on to him big time!” Perlman later revealed.

Their connection was instant, and within a few weeks, she had moved into DeVito’s Manhattan apartment. The couple dated for over a decade before tying the knot on January 28, 1982. Their wedding coincided with major career milestones.

It came a year before DeVito’s hit series “Taxi” ended and just months before Perlman landed her breakout role on “Cheers.” Their professional chemistry mirrored their personal dynamic, demonstrating the strength of their partnership.

Reflecting on their strong bond, Perlman once shared that their long history together created a foundation of love and mutual understanding. “We’ve been together a very long time, so there’s a lot of love and history,” she said in 2018.

This bond would serve as the cornerstone of their relationship, even in times of challenges. Their connection deepened as they welcomed children and embraced the joys of family life.

Raising a Family Together

DeVito and Perlman share three children: Lucy, Grace, and Jake, all of whom followed creative paths much like their parents. Lucy Devito is an actress, Grace is a producer, and Jake has explored the arts, making their family a dynamic mix of talent and passion.

DeVito and Perlman embraced parenthood wholeheartedly, creating a nurturing environment filled with love. The couple fostered an inclusive environment for their children, blending DeVito’s Catholic upbringing with Perlman’s Jewish traditions.

“Our kids are not Jewish, and they’re not Catholic,” Perlman shared in an interview. “They’re not Episcopalian. They’re not Buddhist. They’re not anything.” Due to this approach, the family celebrated holidays like Passover, Easter, Hanukkah, and Christmas with equal enthusiasm.

Now grandparents, DeVito and Perlman continue to treasure family moments. Their granddaughter, Sinclair Lucille DeVito, born in 2023, has brought joy to their lives.

Perlman, in particular, has spoken about the profound love she feels as a grandmother. She described it as comparable to the overwhelming emotions she experienced when her own children were born.

Separation Without Divorce

After three decades of marriage, DeVito and Perlman announced their separation in 2012. Although they reconciled briefly in 2013, they ultimately decided to live apart starting in 2017. Despite these changes, the couple made it clear that divorce was not part of their plan.

Perlman has openly shared how the separation, though challenging initially, ultimately strengthened their bond. She revealed that their relationship is better now than it was in the last five years of their marriage living together.

Rather than focusing on legalities, the couple prioritized their family and long-standing connection, avoiding what Perlman referred to as the “yucky things that come with a divorce.”

This approach has allowed them to maintain an amicable relationship, characterized by regular communication and shared moments. In a 2019 interview, DeVito described their dynamic simply, “We’re friends. We’re happy. Everybody’s happy.”

“We are still very good friends and we see each other a lot. And our family is still the most important thing to both of us,” Perlman said of their relationship status during Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ “Wiser Than Me” podcast in 2023.

How They Make It Work

Living separately hasn’t diminished the bond between DeVito and Perlman. In fact, their enduring friendship and shared family milestones have brought them closer in many ways.

DeVito once explained, “We participate in conversation daily. Lots and lots of talking and [doing] a lot of things together. We have three beautiful children, and now we have a granddaughter who is a year old, and we have one on the way.”

The couple makes a point to celebrate family milestones together. In May 2024, DeVito shared that he and Perlman celebrated their daughter Lucy’s birthday as a family. “We’re a tight family,” he also shared.

Vacations are another way the family stays connected. DeVito mentioned a weeklong family trip where everyone came together, describing it as a meaningful way to maintain their bond. “The whole family was together,” he said. “We don’t live together anymore, but we are together in a lot of ways.”

The pair has also consistently supported one another, even in their professional lives. Perlman has accompanied DeVito to various film premieres, including 2019’s “Jumanji: The Next Level.”

Most recently, DeVito honored Perlman at the 75th Emmy Awards, recalling her four Emmy wins for “Cheers” as he presented with his “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” co-stars. Perlman’s laughter from the audience showcased their enduring mutual admiration.

Through constant communication, shared celebrations, and a commitment to their children and grandchildren, DeVito and Perlman have redefined what it means to stay connected after separation. Beyond their family life, the couple’s professional legacy reflects the depth of their partnership.

A Shared Legacy

DeVito and Perlman’s connection extends beyond their personal lives into their professional accomplishments. In their early years, the coouple found success working together in the entertainment industry.

Perlman famously played DeVito’s on-screen girlfriend in the hit sitcom “Taxi,” and they continued to share the screen in several other projects. Their chemistry also lit up the screen in the family fantasy “Matilda,” where they played the eccentric Wormwoods.

As parents, grandparents, and industry veterans, DeVito and Perlman are celebrated for balancing their roles with grace and humor. Their unconventional bond offers a new perspective on lasting partnerships.

DeVito and Perlman’s relationship has redefined what it means to stay connected. By prioritizing family, friendship, and respect, they’ve created a partnership that has stood the test of time. Their story offers a refreshing perspective on love and commitment, showing that relationships can evolve without losing their core foundation.